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IT IS OK TO CHANGE YOUR MIND


I was confronted the other day with the idea of change. In general, most people will agree that change is a good thing. We learn, we grow, we adapt, and hopefully we change for the better.

However, sometimes the feedback is not as positive when the change effects other people around you.

They are quick to point out..."you never used to think that" or "you used to have this rule or that way of doing things" and you are caught between seeming hypocritical to some people but wanting to choose a better path.

I find this is ever evidenced as a parent. With your first child you set up rules the best you can based on your belief and what you think will serve your child the best. However, as you mature and experience life as a parent you might change your perspective. As child 2 or 3 come along, the rule you gave child 1 might not be the best rule. You may have come to realize that it didn't work as well as you thought it would. Or you might have changed your parenting style now that you have grown with your parenting experiences.

The question then becomes, how to handle the rub between being a consistent parent yet allowing yourself to change and realize your first choice is not always your best? There will be the inevitable feedback from Child 1 that they had this rule and it is inherently unfair to not have the same rules for their younger siblings. That is true on it's face, it might not be fair that the eldest child had rules that might be changed along the way, but is it more important to be the same across the board or try to be the best you can be at any given time, even if that means changing the rule.

If you are on a sports team and losing the game, the coach thinks of different strategies in order to try something that might work. Should the same not be done in our lives and in our role as parents? Should we subject all our kids to the same rule we had when we didn't know or understand the needs of our kids better?

You inherently think or course not, but the pressure is there, the mantra of "these are the rules" get echoed.

I think change is good when you are seeking a better you, no matter what aspect of your life it is in. It is ok to change your parenting style, it is ok to change your outlook on life, or your desires in your job.

Change is the byproduct of growth. We should all seek to grow and evolve into the best versions of ourselves every chance we get. In order to do that, we will need to recognize and take ownership that decisions in the past no longer serve us and we have figured out how to do it better.

Change is good.....embrace it with open arms!

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